Dating a widow with young children too soon Live chat avenew for adults
Dealing with the loss of a spouse is bad enough, but seeing your children suffer – waking from nightmares about their mum, crying uncontrollably without warning, getting upset at school at the slightest trigger – is even worse.Mother's Day became the most dreaded day of the year. This came out of the blue from my seven-year-old daughter Isabella – but then, little about our recent family life had been expected.My children lost their mother, Carolina, to breast cancer in June 2013. When she was terminally ill, we left our house, jobs and schools and moved back to the UK from abroad.And this is exactly what I didn't want, and indeed an issue my wife raised towards the end of her life."I want you to find someone else, but only if they are good for the children," she told me.The heart of our family had been ripped away from us, and as much as counselling helped me come to terms with the reality, the gaping hole remained.After a while, though, I realised that eventually I would have to try to fill the gaping hole and I began to think about another aspect of my situation – being single again after 14 years of marriage. One day, my daughter asked me if I was going to get a girlfriend. After a pause, she asked with a hint of excitement: "Will we get a baby brother or sister?
However, the difficulties of online dating in my situation were apparent very quickly: marital status is very prominent on the sites.
I discovered quite quickly that I hated the word, as it emphasised what I've lost.
Nevertheless, in the months after my wife's death, a grieving widower was exactly what I was, all the while trying to keep things together to be a good father.
And so I launched myself tentatively into the online dating scene, a brave new world to me.
There are so many dating sites out there and it became obvious that there is something for all objectives.
The loss of the family unit, sense of abandonment, complications with how the kids deal with the situation – there was plenty of common ground.